Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
