i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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