Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
