so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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