She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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