Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
