Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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