i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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