Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
