No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
