Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
