She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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