You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize