I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
