Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I cannot find my penis.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
