I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize