I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
