You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
