Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
