So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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