Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
