he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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