I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
