My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
