it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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