he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just pee around me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
