There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
