i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
