I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
