its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
