I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you guys were way drunker than both of me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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