I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
