i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
