just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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