It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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