Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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