Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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