yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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