this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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