physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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