2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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