During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
