She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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