u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
