bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
