i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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