I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
