It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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