Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
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got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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