Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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