He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
