ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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