feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
