i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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