You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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