Whats the count minus fat chicks?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
