last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
