I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
