never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
