Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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